So a priest, a rabbi, and a robot walk into an internet cafe and.... Alright, so it's not the funniest joke in the world, but even bad jokes are worth telling sometimes. In the big podcast today, our lesson includes a pretty lame joke, which you'll learn to tell for yourself in Spanish!
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ilo siento Liliana, i have a lot to learn about Latin American culture, pero gusto el christe "sticky" more than el christe "pescaditos".
gracias, both of you ;)
Bueno,
hold the cursor over a word for it´s translation.
Pregunta la profesora:
Niños. ¿estudiaron la lección de gramatica?
Si, Señorita. ( sus estudiantes responden.)
Bien. A ver. Juanito, cojúgueme el verbo “nadar”.
Yo nado, tú nadas, él nadar... - dice el niño gritando.
¡Más bajo, Juanito! -le pide la profesora.
Yo buceo, tu buceas, el bucea . . .
Oh no. ¡Más chistes, por favor!
El niño: Mamá, Mamá, me picó una serpiente!
La Mamá: Ay, niño. ¿Cobra?
El niño: No, mamá. Fue gratis.
Que hace un pez cuando esta aburrido?
Pues, nada!
Dos pescados en el mar. Uno dice al otro: Que hace to padre para su trabajo?
Nada!
JP: Quisiera preguntar, hay un termino en español para decir "dad joke"? (Chiste de papa?)
que hace un pato con una pata en la primavera
cojea
mouse over for translation
¿qué dijo el cero al ocho?
bonito cinturón
or staying with the theme of bilugual jokes
¿por qué el pollo cruzó la calle?
to get to the other side :-)
heres another one that probably only works for the bilingual
un átomo dice al otro
one atom says to another
uno momento...Yo he perdido un neutrón
wait a minute, ive lost a neutron
¿estas seguro? dice el segundo átomo
are you sure says the second atom
Sí estoy positivo
Yep, im positive
Dos señoras pasaditas de años conversan:
Doña María: Mi marido y yo hacemos el amor casi todos los días.
Doña Josefina: ¿Así?
Doña María: Sí, Casi el lunes, casi el martes....
-Papá, ¿es verdad que los políticos buenos, cuando se mueren se van al cielo?
-Efectivamente, los políticos buenos se van al cielo.
-¿Y los malos a dónde van?
-¿Los malos? A París, Las Vegas, Miami. . .
all indians join indio group
Doctor, doctor, no puedo recordar nada.
"Doctor, doctor, I can't remember anything."
- Vaya, y desde cuando tiene usted este problema?
"Wow, and how long have you had this problem?"
- ¿Qué problema?
"What problem?
Un loco estaba en un manicomio, con un cubo de água y una vara de pesca, entonces el doctor preguntó:- Qué estás haciendo?
El loco: Pescando memos (bobos).
El Doctor: Y cúantos memos tú has pescado?
El loco: Con Usted son cuatro.
Cual es la diferencia entre una chica bronceada y un pollo asado?
Nada: los partes blancos son los mejores.
troll creo que "nada" es quizas un poco inexacto.
i think "nothing" is perhaps a little inaccurate :-)
quizas es mejor decir ¿que tienen ambos en común?
perhaps it is better to say what do they both have in common.
Hola todos una pregunta por favor
Para mi es muy raro que dijeron pescaditos en el mar porque pescado es lo que se come y en el mar hay peces. ¿Hay veces cuando la gente que habla español dice pescado refiriéndose a los peces?
For me it was strange that they said pescaditos in the sea because pescado is what one eats and there are peces in the sea. Are there times when people who speak Spanish say pescado when referring to peces?
Lo sentimos mucho por no haber explicado esto antes, tienes razón stevstrv! Pescaditos vendría siendo un pez ya pescado o sacado del mar. Pero en realidad muchisima gente usa pescado para hablar de pescados o peces en general.
We are really sorry, we should have explained this before, stevestrv is right. Pez and Pescado is officially not the same thing. Pez is the alife fish and Pescado is what we eat or a fish that has already been fished. BUT, a lot of people use Pescado to talk about both with no difference, alife fish or fished fish. It's just a very very common error that we don't even notice anymore
slimjim y annajo
Que buenos chistes!! me gustaron mucho!
Steve
Cuando hablamos de pescado nos referimos al pescado que comemos. Ejemplo "comí pescado ayer". Cuando usamos peces nos referimos a los que están en el mar o en una pecera. Por ejemplo, "hay mucha variedad de peces en el mar pacífico".
Leo Lili
Gracias interesante
How about.
No cuentan cada pez hasta que le han encontrado del pescado en el barco.
SpanishPod Team
Thank you very much for taking turns doing the Audio Reviews so that we can hear different Accents. I really appreciate it. :)
Steve
Newbies
I would just like to point out that porque (because) and por qué (why) do not sound exactly alike. Note that porque ends in a vowel. So the “o” which is the vowel in the second to last syllable is stressed. In por qué the “e” has an accent mark so it is stressed. If you lesson to the dialog when the man says “¿Por qué el mar es Azul?” you can hear him stress the “e” in por qué.
I know that por ends in an “r” so the “o” should also be stress since it is the vowel of the last syllable, but it seems to me that Spanish speak do not stress the vowels of single syllable words that do not have an accent mark (at lest not as much as words that do have an accent mark) I do not know why.
I only mention this because I did not notice that until had been studding Spanish for at least two years.
BTW
In case this is new to you. If a word has an accent mark, it determines which vowel receives the stress. If not, if the word ends in a vowel, s, or n then the vowel in the second to last is stressed. Words without an accent mark which end in any consonant other then s or n, the vowel in the last syllable is stressed. See Learn Spanish.
¡Hola Spanishpod! Acabo de leer el vocabulario para esta lección. La palabra "risa" esta escrito ser "masculino." Pero, es feminina, ¿verdad?
Hi SpanishPod! I just read the vocab for this lesson. The word "risa" is listed as being masculine, but it's feminine, right?
Really, I just wrote this to practice my Spanish (but it is listed as masculine). Please correct me. Thanks!
i really enjoyed the audio u provided and i loved the joke (me encanta mucho), and i appreciate the effort done by the whole team,guys you are the best
This is a very sophisticated newbie group. Everyone is writing jokes in Spanish!
Here's one in English:
What's black and white and "red" all over?
A newspaper.
or a sunburned zebra.
Or an embarrassed dalmatian.
minor correction made to PDF
Question:
What is the difference between: pez... pescado
I thought "pez" is fish in the river or ocean, and "pescado" is what you buy in a store but the joke uses the second one.
cdowis
see leos comment above