Comments (0)

PoemaSoNos

 

Here's one I made earlier..

 

It’s a silly little quatrain by Hilaire belloc

 

I shoot the Hippopotamus

With bullets made of platinum,

Because if I use leaden ones

His hide is sure to flatten 'em

 

I’m rather pleased because I’ve been tinkering with this for a while but I just could not get the meter to work with the stress in hipopótamo. It was always in the wrong place.This had me coming up with all kinds of weird lines to fit to the first line. Heres one of many early drafts

 

Yo disparo el hipopótamo
Con balas he hecho de platino,
Porque si usara los de plomo
es seguro que ,el piel, los aplastaré

 

 Ugly or what? I started to understand where bailaomooós came from when Just as I was about to upload this I spotted that if I kill the hippo rather than hunting or shooting it, it all falls into place.

 

Mato el hipopótamo

Con Balas son de platino

Porque si usa los de plomo

Los aplastarán es obvio

 

Well, it looks ok to me anyway, how does it sound to a spanish ear?

Too many los’s? incorrect use of the subjunctive? Can’t use con like that?

Please let me know if you can see any ways to improve it.

 

Or just join up and post a short poem with your translation for the groups consideration.

 

BTW, no hippos were harmed in the translation of this poem.

 

Cheers